Tracking a specimen.

Illustration by Buzz da Artist.

This blog features ugly pants and other fashion disasters that we encounter in our daily lives. It grew out of a couple of my Facebook albums called “Ugly-Pants Alerts!” and “Sartorial Delusion”—hence, the blog’s subtitle.

I, Firstshade, am not in the fashion industry nor do I have any training in clothing design. I’m just a curmudgeon with an iPhone, too much free time, and clear ideas on what looks good and what doesn’t. Most of the photos are mine.

Secondshade is our Asshole in Residence and the bane of my existence. He prefers to lurk in the shadows and make his snide and vulgar remarks to me. You’ll often see him quoted in my posts.

We have several regular photo contributors including Ashley and her awesome sidekick Aidan, Miss Diagnoses (aka NeonLeopardJeggings), Phil, and Snapper. (See guidelines for submission of photos.)


I post these photos for my own amusement and that of my friends. You’re welcome to disagree with my opinions, and I encourage intelligent and snarky observations. However, if the idea of poking fun at people makes you uncomfortable, I suggest you go elsewhere.

I do not discriminate based on gender, orientation, race, size, age, or physical ability. If the clothes are ugly, the wearer is a target, with these exceptions:

  • Children, unless they are accessories to an adult’s crime (my rule of thumb is “old enough to know better”).
  • The mentally disabled.
  • The homeless.
  • People of non-Western cultures in non-Western dress.

The point here is not to criticize people’s bodies, but to highlight their dreadful fashion sense and the horrors that so-called designers inflict on the gullible. Some mockery is to be expected, but if the comments turns hateful, I will delete them.

Have a photo to submit?

Love the blog? Hate the blog and, despite my warning, feel compelled to tell me that I’m an awful human being? Contact me.

All content is © Fifty Shades of Fail, unless otherwise specified.

Creative Commons License

Under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License, you may share my work as long as you give me credit either by sharing a page or post via social media or by providing a direct link to a page or post.

You may not:

  • Use my work for commercial purposes.
  • Alter, transform, or build upon my work.
  • Download any image and present it as your own.