Monthly Archives: November 2013

Blue-Ringed Fugtopus

Compare the blue-ringed octopus.

We had some spectacular fails—including the Hanukkah Pants, AC/DC Fan, and Garbage Patches—but for sheer toxicity, our fugtopus snares the title of Paisley Specimen of the Week!

Blue-Ringed Fugtopus

Ugly-Pants Poll! The Great Horrific Garbage Patch

(A play on the Great Pacific garbage patch, which is no laughing matter.)

Exhibit A: Smells Like Patchouli

Or patchugly.

Garbage Patch, Exhibit A


Exhibit B: Come On, Get Flappy! Partridge Family Pants

Thanks to Secondshade for this title.

Garbage Patch, Exhibit B

Black Friday Night Bonus! Behind the Candelabra

(With apologies to everyone involved in the book and movie of that name.)

I think Liberace himself would have considered this shirt gaudy. Note the matching detail on the leggings.

Behind the Candelabra

Ugly-Pants Alert! Rococo Ho

Our coverage of Black Friday continues with this cut-rate skank. The least she could have done was carry the baroque look through, ugly though it was. She just got lazy with the sweat jacket.

Rococo Ho

Ugly-Pants Alert! Back in Black

When I think swirly brocade patterns, I think AC/DC.

Happy Black Friday! (Here’s an explanation in case you’re not a mindless American consumer.)

Back in Black

A Bird on the Back Is Worth Two in the Bush

Me: “Aw, look, she’s got birds on her vest.”
Secondshade: “Yeah, and I’ve got crust on my dick.”

I don’t know how his mind works, people. Don’t even ask.

Happy Thanksgiving! As we’re vegan, we won’t be having turkey, but I still felt it was important to mark the holiday. And I’m not leaving my British friends out—check out the bag on the woman at right.

A Bird on the Back Is Worth Two in the Bush

Ugly-Pants Alert! It’s a Festival of … Something

We interrupt our regularly scheduled Theme for whatever this is. I feel bad that I don’t have anything Hanukkah-specific for my Red Sea Pedestrians, but this is festive, and those red shapes kind of look like candle flames, no? Hey, I’m trying.

Happy Hanukkah!

It's a Festival of … Something

Ugly-Pants Alert! Mandelbrot! Mandelbrot!

The pattern looks like a Mandelbrot set, no? (Scroll down for close-up.)

The title of the post is an allusion to the Seinfeld episode with the Mandelbaums.

Mandelbrot! Mandelbrot!

Mandelbrot! Mandelbrot! Close-up