Tag Archives: Whole Foods

Ugly-Pants Alert! Grate Expectations

I’m not saying I want her to fall through, but there’d be one fewer yuppie in ugly yoga pants knocking into me with her oversized bag while she holds her latte in one hand and types with the other at Whole Paycheck.

Grate Expectations

Ugly-Pants Alert! Any Way You Slice It

The cheese still stinks.

Any Way You Slice It

It’s a Mad, Bad, Sad, Plaid World

Especially at Whole Foods.

I hope she goes back on her meds soon. For now she’s our Specimen of the Week!

It's a Mad, Bad, Sad, Plaid World

Chocolate Salt Lake City

“It’s like the Osmonds formed a P-Funk cover band.”—Secondshade

Of course she was white, and of course she was coming out of Whole Foods. There should be a special place in hell for posers like this, where they’d have to shop at bodegas and Good Will unironically, drink mass-market beer, and forgo plaid.

No competition—she is our Specimen of the Week.

Chocolate Salt Lake City

Ugly-Pants Alert! Completely Recyclable

I doubt it. No one’s going to want any of this.

Completely Recyclable

Ugly-Pants Alert! Across the Aisle

I want to punch 99% of the people I see at Whole Foods.