Tag Archives: wheels

Ugly-Pants Alert! Jesus, Take the Wheel

Before she goes completely around the bend.

Fittingly, I found her at the ferry terminal. She’s our Specimen of the Week!

Jesus, Take the Wheel

Ugly-Pants Alert! Wheels Spinnin’ around My Brain

Driving you insane.

This high roller—as in, you’d have to be high to buy these leggings—is our Color Abuser of the Week!

Wheels Spinnin' around My Brain

Ugly-Pants Alert! Grey Matter

Both too much and not enough.

Grey Matter

Ugly-Pants Alert! Karma Is a Bitch

If these horrendous interpretations of the wheel of life are any indication.

 Karma Is a Bitch

Ugly-Pants Alert! Wheel of Misfortune

Everyone loses.

Wheel of Misfortune

Ugly-Pants Alert! Straight Flush

As in, she needs to flush these leggings straight away.

Straight Flush

Ugly-Pants Alert! Because They Care

A bunch of Care Bears shat on her pajama pants.

As I mentioned in a previous post, this week I’ll be showing specimens I collected during my trip to the UK. I’ll post them chronologically for an extra touch of realism. I took this photo at the Virgin Atlantic bag drop at JFK.

Because They Care

Ugly-Pants Alert! Out, Out, Thou Strumpet, Fortune!

…All you gods,
In general synod ‘take away her power;
Break all the spokes and fellies from her wheel,
And bowl the round nave down the hill of heaven,
As low as to the fiends!
—from Hamlet, Act II, Scene II

Out, Out, Thou Strumpet, Fortune!