Tag Archives: ugly belt

The Corpse of Punk Rock

“He smells exactly like the corpse of punk rock,” said one commenter when I posted this on Facebook a few years ago. More comments are below the photo.

The Corpse of Punk Rock

I can’t decide where he starts and where he ends. Thank god he doesn’t go for trendy fads. Sad thing is, he’s actually cute.

Don’t those backpack straps chafe on bare skin?

Sorry, dude, I only give out change after the second frost falls.

The double belts make sense—suspenders would interfere with the lines of his backpack straps, and all that metal crap attached to his pants clearly calls for help in keeping the pants in their upright and locked position.

I like the hair. On him, it works. I could never pull it off with such panache.

So retro.

I don’t want to look at this photo for too long, lest my browser catch Hep C.

Sid Vicious’s grandson?

The extras from “Mad Max” called. They want their everything back.

He is trying. So. Hard.

Obviously with a band. Where they went is more of a mystery.

Justin Bieber’s new backup dancers look like rough trade.

Anybody this conformist (and yes, this is conformist behavior—he has made his entire raison d’etre a statement about fitting a demographic) will conform in other ways too. And some day, he WILL conform in other ways—he will be behind a desk selling car insurance, or running an in-store customer service department, wishing some middle manager with bad breath and a cheesy sport coat would get off his back, and some asshole is going to find this photo and circulate it in the company email or on a public website with his name on it.

He does not roll out of bed looking this way. He was not born this way. This is a major project. And I can’t help but think the objective is to be noticed. So, I’m noticing.

The statement is all like “Look At Me, DAMMIT! Acknowledge my EXISTENCE!”

This is a good old British tradition. We *all* have to pass through this stage until we settle on “Tweed-on-top-leather-knickers-underneath.”

Ugly-Pants Poll! Oppan Gingham Style

Oppan Gingham Style
Who wore it worse?

 

(Here’s the reference, in case you want to torture yourself aurally and visually. )

Exhibit A: Red Pimpin’

Oppan Gingham Style, Exhibit A

 

Exhibit B: Green Gangsta

Oppan Gingham Style, Exhibit B

Mystery Flotsam

Here are ten specimens that defy explanation or categorization. Look for more Flotsam in the coming weeks.

Mystery Flotsam 1

Mystery Flotsam 2

Thanks go to Snapper for the following photo.

Mystery Flotsam 3

Mystery Flotsam 4

Mystery Flotsam 5

Mystery Flotsam 6

Mystery Flotsam 7

Thanks go to Ashley for the following photo.

Mystery Flotsam 8

Mystery Flotsam 9

Mystery Flotsam 10

She’s So Money

“Unfortunately she turned to the side so I could not fully capture the hideous rhinestones on the jeans,” writes Miss Diagnoses.

She's So Money

Striped Flotsam

Like our other Flotsam categories, Striped Flotsam will display so-so specimens that are moldering in my storehouse. The first six entries are below; look for more Flotsam in the coming weeks.

Striped Flotsam 1

Striped Flotsam 2

Striped Flotsam 3

Striped Flotsam 4

Striped Flotsam 5

Striped Flotsam 6

Ugly-Pants Alert! Heart of Darkness

This is the reason why I affirm that Kurtz was a remarkable man. He had something to say. He said it. Since I had peeped over the edge myself, I understand better the meaning of his stare, that could not see the flame of the candle, but was wide enough to embrace the whole universe, piercing enough to penetrate all the hearts that beat in the darkness. He had summed up—he had judged. “The horror!”

—Joseph Conrad, “Heart of Darkness” (1899)

Heart of Darkness