Tag Archives: Toms

Pixel-Pushing Perfectionism

Writing concise, straightforward job ads is a dying art. Much of the copy I see is clichéd, verbose, and self-aggrandizing, like the examples I give here. This douche seems like just the type to write shit like this. (And look who’s in the background—our old friend Perestinka!)

We ask that you bring enthusiasm, pixel-pushing perfectionism, smiles through the storms and boundary-pushing thinking with you each day. We’re here to help you cultivate your craft and hone your strategic thinking around a client’s needs. Problem solving, take-the-initiative-and-run-with-it type of people would fit in best.

We’re looking for an Indiana Jones of copywriting—someone both intellectual and adventurous—to deliver smart, bloggy copy for an audience of equity traders while serving as the driving force behind the in-house content team.

When you hear New Business do you think of innovation, ideation and a chance to take a brand to the next level, both in terms of brand identity and campaigns? If so, this is the job for you!! Our client is seeking to up their game on the new business front with out of the box, innovative thinking creative super minds! They are currently seeking people who have good technical acumen but who also can elevate design and bring big ideas to the table. The ideal is someone who understands full campaigns and and [sic] how the digital part can truly add the wow factor. They are seeking people who can ideate for web and micro sites, but who can also execute and have hands on digital chops to bring digital elements to life.

We’re looking for someone who gets out of bed in the morning excited about helping people sleep better every night and building unique and engaging designs by day.

The right candidate will also be comfortable in an intimate office environment, where hard work and focus is accompanied by a friendly, prank-prone atmosphere.

You think about holistic experiences and how they fit into a grand eco-system.

We want to see concepts that make us go all goose-fleshy. We want to see artwork and layouts that move us to quiet tears. And we want your next idea to be even better. Sound like your bag?

We believe in superior service and meticulous quality. We are looking for more than just a great designer, we need someone who wants to be part of the growth and success of the company. THIS POSITION IS NOT FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SIMPLY LOOKING TO COLLECT A PAYCHECK. THIS POSITION IS FOR THE PERSON WHO IS LOOKING TO BE AN VALUABLE ASSET TO THE COMPANY.

Pixel-Pushing Perfectionism

Ugly-Pants Alert! Blinded by the Light

Revved up like a deuce.

Blinded by the Light

The Eighth Day of Fugmas: Eight Turquoise Reindeer

More rapid than eagles.

Eight Turquoise Reindeer

Ugly-Pants Poll! They Put the Ass in Laura Ashley

We have Secondshade to thank for the title of this post.

They Put the Ass in Laura Ashley
Who wore it better?

Exhibit A: Toni the Toes

They Put the Ass in Laura Ashley, Exhibit A


Exhibit B: Fancy Fanny

They Put the Ass in Laura Ashley, Exhibit B

Ugly-Pants Alert! Keith Haring’s Lost Work


It was a tough choice this week. The Electric Company, the Dr. Seuss Commemorative Trio, and Crazy Susan were strong contenders, but this activist ass elevates the theme of wavy lines and zigzags to the level of art. She is our Specimen of the Week!

Keith Haring's Lost Work

Ugly-Pants Alert! Zebra of a Different Color

Those of you who know me from Facebook will remember that I’d present my fashion-fail photos according to Theme, and that each week would have its own Theme. You’ll be pleased to know that I’m instituting this practice on the blog. Every Sunday will see the start of a new Theme.

Our Theme this week is Pattern Mismatch. We open with this specimen of Equus fugga fulvus (fugly brown zebra).

Tawny Zebra