Tag Archives: puffy vest

She Begs Your Pardon

She never promised you a rose garden.

She Begs Your Pardon

Ugly-Pants Alert! Lotus Poser

We get it. You do yoga. You’re so much better than we are.

Lotus Poser

Oh the Japanity! Part XXIX

I think Tinky Winky-san is about to toss his sushi.

Oh the Japanity! Part XXIX

Almost Dressed to the Nines

Why don’t you dash into Nine West and get yourself a decent pair of boots? And maybe Loft for pants that don’t give you visible panty line. I’ll wait here.

Almost Dressed to the Nines

Ugly-Pants Alert! SHE IS IRON WOMAN

Has she lost her mind?
Can she see or is she blind?

Steel yourselves (not sorry!): our Theme of the Week is the Inexplicable and Unclassifiable.

SHE IS IRON WOMAN

Ugly-Pants Alert! Dead from the Neck Up

Is that a travel pillow?

Dead from the Neck Up

Häagen-Daze, Part III

Now in dragon fruit, goji berry, and Mandarin orange. (WHAT?)

The proliferation of sorbet-like colors in clothing has prompted me to make Häagen-Daze its own category!

Häagen-Daze, Part III

Chief Standing Douche

I first saw him in February 2013 (first photo). He earned much scorn on Facebook:

Release the hounds!

His stance makes this even more funny. It does look like he’s trying to communicate with the spirits of the douchebag.

God, I hate those NARUTO cosplayers. Wait, what?

That’s the classic “just checkin’ to see if still I got testicles” posture.

You are jealous of his Uggs.

I think this guy got them off of a hobo he murdered and skinned.

WANTED: One herd of yaks for lonely midtown Manhattan yak herder.… And pussy.

A nose flute, my kingdom for a nose flute.

Did he have really bad teeth? Something makes me expect him to have rotted out ugly teeth.

Just a wandering tribesman longing for a taste of home, seeking a food truck serving some hot manioc.

I’m pretty sure that’s a throw pillow atop his head, and he’s only wearing it because of the brain-chilling temps.

Actually, a well-chilled brain might explain the rest of the attire. Nothing can explain the murse, though.

Chief Standing Douche is on his way to see his friend, Two Dogs Fucking, for a night on the town drinking the white man’s firewater and stealing their women.

I found him again in March 2014 (second photo), in the same spot. Our chief has lost his horse, apparently, and has to take the bus.

Chief Standing Douche 1

Chief Standing Douche 2