“I had the misfortune of being in the same subway car as my preppy douchebag neighbor (the male half of the couple who put out the ugly squashes—the female is tiny and precious),” writes Miss Diagnoses. “I’m not sure if his faux lumberjack look is atrocious enough for FSOF, but I figured I’d send it anyway. I love the rolled up jeans, and I think he bought his boots beat up like that.”

Oh, it’s plenty atrocious. This manspreading lumbersexual launches our Theme of the Week: Plaid and Check Patterns!