Tag Archives: check pattern

On the Boats and on the Planes

They’re coming to America.

These intrepid travelers are our Specimens of the Week! They also open our Independence Day celebration, which will run through Monday evening.

On the Boats and on the Planes

Fluff Piece

I would have let her go, but the gloves are too precious.

Fluff Piece

Earning Her Stripes, Part II

This woman is more classily dressed than our PMS whore, but her tights are no less ugly for that.

Earning Her Stripes, Part II

Ugly-Pants Alert! Flagella

She should flagellate herself.

Flagella

Ugly-Pants Alert! Pearl Necklaces

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Pearl Necklaces

Ugly-Pants Alert! The Hills Are Alive

With the look of tacky.

The Hills Are Alive

It’s a Mad, Bad, Sad, Plaid World

Especially at Whole Foods.

I hope she goes back on her meds soon. For now she’s our Specimen of the Week!

It's a Mad, Bad, Sad, Plaid World

Ugly-Pants Poll! Oppan Gingham Style

Oppan Gingham Style
Who wore it worse?

 

(Here’s the reference, in case you want to torture yourself aurally and visually. )

Exhibit A: Red Pimpin’

Oppan Gingham Style, Exhibit A

 

Exhibit B: Green Gangsta

Oppan Gingham Style, Exhibit B

Pixel-Pushing Perfectionism

Writing concise, straightforward job ads is a dying art. Much of the copy I see is clichéd, verbose, and self-aggrandizing, like the examples I give here. This douche seems like just the type to write shit like this. (And look who’s in the background—our old friend Perestinka!)

We ask that you bring enthusiasm, pixel-pushing perfectionism, smiles through the storms and boundary-pushing thinking with you each day. We’re here to help you cultivate your craft and hone your strategic thinking around a client’s needs. Problem solving, take-the-initiative-and-run-with-it type of people would fit in best.

We’re looking for an Indiana Jones of copywriting—someone both intellectual and adventurous—to deliver smart, bloggy copy for an audience of equity traders while serving as the driving force behind the in-house content team.

When you hear New Business do you think of innovation, ideation and a chance to take a brand to the next level, both in terms of brand identity and campaigns? If so, this is the job for you!! Our client is seeking to up their game on the new business front with out of the box, innovative thinking creative super minds! They are currently seeking people who have good technical acumen but who also can elevate design and bring big ideas to the table. The ideal is someone who understands full campaigns and and [sic] how the digital part can truly add the wow factor. They are seeking people who can ideate for web and micro sites, but who can also execute and have hands on digital chops to bring digital elements to life.

We’re looking for someone who gets out of bed in the morning excited about helping people sleep better every night and building unique and engaging designs by day.

The right candidate will also be comfortable in an intimate office environment, where hard work and focus is accompanied by a friendly, prank-prone atmosphere.

You think about holistic experiences and how they fit into a grand eco-system.

We want to see concepts that make us go all goose-fleshy. We want to see artwork and layouts that move us to quiet tears. And we want your next idea to be even better. Sound like your bag?

We believe in superior service and meticulous quality. We are looking for more than just a great designer, we need someone who wants to be part of the growth and success of the company. THIS POSITION IS NOT FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SIMPLY LOOKING TO COLLECT A PAYCHECK. THIS POSITION IS FOR THE PERSON WHO IS LOOKING TO BE AN VALUABLE ASSET TO THE COMPANY.

Pixel-Pushing Perfectionism