Category Archives: UK Trip 2014

Home Is Where the Crack Hoes Are

The sun set as our journey drew to rather disgusting end—literally. We found her while waiting for the bus to take us home from the airport. It’s fitting that the Specimen of the Week should have appeared at the close of the trip. We were sad to leave our friends and the gorgeous English countryside, but happy to be home, even if home means such sights as these.

Home Is Where the Crack Hoes Are

Ugly-Pants Alert! Croc Bottom

She was at the gate at Heathrow. I was going to let her go, but the peach-colored plastic sandals need to be mocked.

Croc Bottom

Ugly-Pants Alert! Chickenhead Pox

She looks toxic.

I found her outside the duty-free shop at Heathrow.

Chickenhead Pox

Ugly-Pants Alert! It Was the Best of Times

It was the worst of pants.

I found these in Rochester, a scenic town where Charles Dickens based many of his novels. It hosts a biannual Dickens festival.

It Was the Best of Times. It Was the Worst of Pants.

Ugly-Pants Alert! From London, Almost Live

It’s The Gong Show!

It's the Gong Show!

Ugly-Pants Alert! Wars of the Roses

Nobody won.

She’s the first specimen I obtained in England. I found her at Heathrow, on the security line for visitors, though, so she’s not a Brit. She’s probably American. Sigh.

Wars of the Roses

Where Are the Clowns?

If you see them, tell them that their wardrobe has been ransacked.

Where Are the Clowns?